How to Be Single
How absurdly uninteresting does Dakota Johnson look in these
trailers? She gets top billing, is
coming off of 50 Shades of Grey, and yet is lucky to mutter a few set-up lines
for the significantly more charismatic actors and actresses in any of the
trailers I’ve seen. She comes off like
that girl growing up who literally would never speak up, always mumbling, but
was somewhat attractive and seemed nice so you made the effort to try and talk
to her only to end up walking away because of how difficult it was to get any semblance
of a conversation going.
Potentially soon to be irrelevant actresses aside, this
seems like a smart choice of film title combined with timing. A film presumably about being single set to
release on Valentine’s day? Could this
attract the sad masses who are unable to find satisfaction in their single
lives? Personally I’ll be spending the
day cooking extravagant meals for myself, because I deserve them, but maybe a
less interesting single person would attempt to find solace in a film they feel
may give some guidance along with distraction.
The trailers started out with just scenes of women being
given personality, but a change happened recently. They started putting some more men into the
trailers (that one sociopathic guy who forces women out of his apartment by
shutting off his water). I feel like the
guys are simplistic caricatures, but the women don’t come off as any better,
and maybe the men are in the film for the women’s benefit. Then again, perhaps they’re trying to attract
the males on dates market? Can a quick
shot of a guy being a douche convince men to go on a date to this movie? Would a couple actually want to see a film
about being single on the most (sort of) romantic day of the year? Since Dakota Snoozefest will likely get a guy
at the end, maybe. Also, will lesbian or
gay couples want to see this? I really
know nothing about romantically marketing to non-hetero couples.
Overall, I think this will have a solid opening weekend,
thanks to lonely singles flocking to see this film. I don’t think it’ll do well afterwards,
unless this is a particularly painful year for Valentine’s day disappointments
and breakups. Dakota Johnson is a
snooze, but Rebel Wilson is hilarious (is she the funniest large female
actress? I prefer her to Melissa
McCarthy), and I assume people like Leslie Mann almost as much as I do. It looks like a typical predictable and
moderately silly film, set to benefit from releasing near Valentine’s Day. I think it’ll do pretty well, but have the
weekly drop-offs get steep fast.
Bust rating 2/5
Deadpool
I’ll start this off by admitting I don’t like Ryan
Reynolds. Maybe it was being introduced
to him as a complete asshole in Van Wilder, or the vibe he gives off of always
being happy and cool but in a way that grinds on you. I really don’t enjoy him in any of his silly
roles, and the serious work of his I’ve seen (Adventureland, School of Life)
haven’t made me change my opinion. I
don’t think he gives off much of a personality outside of a more attractive,
less funny Jim Carey (picture him saying “Alllllrighty then!”).
So I personally am not excited to see this. But apparently everyone else is. My roommate thinks it’ll be phenomenal. Reddit has been posting even more Deadpool
related things than normal. I’ve
overheard people saying how much they love Ryan Reynolds. People may want to see this.
The trailers look ok.
Sometimes funny, a bit juvenile, solid action. The back and forth talking about Deadpool’s
physical appearance is promising, and his silly jokes when fighting the bad
guys in the SUV did make me laugh. But
with it being rated R and based on a comic book, will enough people still go
see it? Probably.
The timing of a Valentines day weekend release is weird,
rating it R will restrict some of the audience, it isn’t a well-known Marvel character,
but it’s still a Marvel movie that people will see since you’ve basically got
to see literally every one or you aren’t going to get everything going on in
the next Avengers movie or whatever. Add
in that the comic does have a large following among comic book readers, and
Ryan Reynolds having appeal, you end up getting what should be a great box
office return.
Bust rating 1/5
Update- apparently it did ridiculously well Thursday. I’m feeling good about this prediction.
Zoolander 2
The first one was certainly hilarious, but how much of that
was the concept of male model stupidity, and how much was clever writing that
can be recreated for the characters? The
ratings haven’t been kind so far, but perhaps the bigger issue is how long ago
the original came out. Is Zoolander
relevant anymore?
It seems so, to some extent.
The “so hot right now” meme still shows up on reddit, along with the “I
feel like I’m taking crazy pills” one.
The “But why male models” line is hilarious enough to get said quite
often, as are several others. And the
three main actors may not be at their peaks, but aren’t far off and are still
A-list celebrities (I think, the celebrity grading system is pretty
vague). The world of male fashion models
isn’t a topic of discussion right now, but was it at all back when the original
came out?
And yet, this is a comedy sequel coming out nearly 15 years
after the original. Anchorman 2 came out
around 9 years after the original and did very well in theaters, but is
Zoolander the phenomenon that Anchorman was?
Not quite.
I can’t see this bombing, since the first is beloved and had
the great combo of being hilarious and quotable. But at the same time, it just doesn’t look as
good. Ferrell looks hilarious, like he
does in every movie he’s in, but if he wasn’t in the trailers I wouldn’t be
remotely interested in the story or jokes.
That’s why I think it will not come close to being a hit. It seems people want this to be funny, but
not many people are convinced it actually will be. There is a lot of buzz about the sequel, but
not much excitement at all. Regardless,
it’ll make enough money to prevent it from being a flop, simply because the
first was so funny.
Bust rating 2/5
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